This is an interesting story that has lessons in child psychology and it reads like a child book. It’s titled:
WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)

To those of us who have children in our lives,
whether they are our own,
grandchildren,
nieces,
nephews,
or students…
here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control,
you can take comfort from the thought that
even God’s omnipotence did not extend
to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth,
God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was
“DON’T ! ”

“Don’t what ? ”
Adam replied.

“Don’t eat the forbidden fruit.”
God said.

“Forbidden fruit ?
We have forbidden fruit ?
Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit ! ”

“No Way ! ”

“Yes way ! ”

“Do NOT eat the fruit ! ”
said God.

“Why ? ”

“Because I am your Father and I said so ! ”

God replied,
wondering why He hadn’t stopped
creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later,
God saw His children having an apple break
and He was ticked !

“Didn’t I tell you not to eat the fruit ? ”
God asked.

“Uh huh,”
Adam replied.

“Then why did you ? ”
said the Father.

“I don’t know,”
said Eve.

“She started it ! ”
Adam said.

“Did not ! ”

“Did too ! ”

“DID NOT ! ”

Having had it with the two of them,
God’s punishment was that Adam and Eve
should have children of their own.

Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY !

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven’t taken it,
don’t be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children,
what makes you think it would be
a piece of cake for you ?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT !

1. You spend the first two years of their life
teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend
the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God’s reward
for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why
some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you.

In fact,
they usually repeat word for word
what you shouldn’t have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children’s parties
is to remind yourself that there are children
more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes,
but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids.
They will choose your
nursing home one day.

AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION
AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
DO WHAT IT SAYS
ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

“TAKE TWO ASPIRIN”
AND “KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN”!!!!!

I hope this humor on child psychology cheers you up. Share this child book story with anyone else to uplift their day.

A wonderful story about Christian credit counselling (via prayer) and God’s answer to Christian debt consolidation and christian debt relief!

This was written by a Metro Denver Hospice Physician:

I was driving home from a meeting this evening about 5, stuck in traffic on Colorado Blvd., and the car started to choke and splutter and die - I barely managed to coast, cursing, into a gas station, glad only that I would not be blocking traffic and would have a somewhat warm spot to wait for the tow truck. It wouldn’t even turn over. Before I could make the call, I saw a woman walking out of the ‘quickie mart ‘ building, and it looked like she slipped on some ice and fell into a Gas pump, so I got out to see if she was okay

When I got there, it looked more like she had been overcome by sobs than that she had fallen; she was a young woman who looked really haggard with dark circles under her eyes. She dropped something as I helped her up, and I picked it up to give it to her. It was a nickel.

At that moment, everything came into focus for me: the crying woman, the ancient Suburban crammed full of stuff with 3 kids in the back (1 in a car seat), and the gas pump reading $4.95.

I asked her if she was okay and if she needed help, and she just kept saying ‘ don’t want my kids to see me crying,’ so we stood on the other side of the pump from her car. She said she was driving to California and that things were very hard for her right now. So I asked, ‘And you were praying?’ That made her back a away ay from me a little, but I assured her I was not a crazy person and said, ‘He heard you, and He sent me.’

I took out my card and swiped it through the card reader on the pump so sh e could fill up her car completely, and while it was fuelling, walked to the next door McDonald’s and bought 2 big bags of food, some gift certificates for more, and a big cup of coffee. She gave the food to the kids in the
car, who attacked it like wolves, and we stood by the pump eating fries and talking a little.

She told me her name, and that she lived in Kansas City Her boyfriend left 2 months ago and she had not been able to make ends meet. She knew she wouldn’t have money to pay rent Jan 1, and finally in desperation had finally called her parents, with whom she had not spoken in about 5 years. They lived in California and said she could come live with them and try to get on her feet there.

So she packed up everything she owned in the car. She told the kids they were going to California for Christmas, but not that they were going to live there.

I gave her my gloves, a little hug and said a quick prayer with her for safety on the road. As I was wal king over to my car, she said, ‘So, are you like an angel or something?’

This definitely made me cry. I said, ‘Sweetie, at this time of year angels are really busy, so sometimes God uses regular people.’

It was so incredible to be a part of someone else’s miracle. And of course, you guessed it, when I got in my car it started right away and got me home with no problem. I’ll put it in the shop tomorrow to check, but I suspect the mechanic won’t find anything wrong.

Sometimes the angels fly close enough to you that you can hear the fl utter of their wings…

Psalms 55:22 ‘Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee. He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.’
Here is the prayer:

‘Father, I ask You to bless my children, grandchildren, friends, relatives and email buddies reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of your love and power. Holy Spirit, I ask You to minister to their spirit this very moment. Where there is pain, give them Your peace and mercy. Where there is self doubt, release a renewed confidence through Your grace, In Jesus’ precious name. Amen.’

This should inspire us to undertake Christian debt relief by practicing Christian credit counselling and christian debt consolidation.

This is an interesting story of being petsmart and letting your pet care for your home while you are away.

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say: “Jesus is watching you!”

Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. “Jesus is watching you,” the voice boomed again. The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot. He asked the parrot:

“Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?” “Yes,” said the parrot. The burglar breathed a sigh of relief and asked the parrot: “What’s your name?” “Clarence,” said the bird.

“That’s a dumb name for a parrot,” sneered the burglar. “What idiot named you Clarence?” The parrot said, “The same idiot who named the Doberman Jesus.”

Be petsmart, keep pets at home!

This is a story about being an effective marriage counselor. Marriage counselling can be done by anyone with good intentions to save a marriage. This is also a story about acceptance, forgiveness and the Golden Rule of Christianity - Do Unto Others As You Wish Them To Do Unto You. I know many people may be shocked that such tips are posted on a Catholic website. Read on.

A long time ago in China , a girl named Li-Li got married and went to live with her husband and mother-in-law.
In a very short time, Li-Li found that she couldn’t get along at all with her mother-in-law.

Their personalities were very different, and Li-Li was angered by many of her mother-in-law’s habits.
In addition, the mother-in-law criticized Li-Li constantly.

Days passed, and weeks passed. Li-Li and her mother-in-law never stopped arguing and fighting.
But what made the situation even worse was that, according to ancient Chinese tradition, Li-Li had to bow to her mother-in-law and obey her every wish. All the anger and unhappiness in the house was causing Li-Li’s poor husband great distress.

Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-law’ s bad temper and dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it.
Li-Li went to see her father’s good friend, Mr Huang, who sold herbs. She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so that she could solve the problem once and for all.

Mr Huang thought for awhile, and finally said, ‘Li-Li, I will help you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you.

Li-Li said, ‘Yes, Mr Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to do’.

Mr. Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with a package of herbs.

He told Li-Li, ‘You can’t use a quick-acting poison to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that would cause people to become suspicious.
Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her body. Every other day prepare some delicious meal and put a little of these herbs in her serving. Now, in order to make sure that nobody suspects you when she dies, you must be very careful to act very friendly towards her. Don’t argue with her, obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen’.

Li-Li was so happy. She thanked Mr Huang and hurried home to start her plot of murdering her mother-in-law.

Weeks went by, and months went by, and every other day, Li-Li served the specially treated food to her mother-in-law.
She remembered what Mr Huang had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her temper, obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own mother.

After six months had passed, the whole household had changed. Li-Li had practised controlling her temper so much that she found that she almost never got mad or upset. She hadn’t had an argument with her mother-in-law in six months because she now seemed much kinder and easier to get along with.

The mother-in-law’ s attitude toward Li-Li changed, and she began to love Li-Li like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives that Li-Li was the best daughter-in- law one could ever find.

Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like a real mother and daughter.

Li-Li’s husband was very happy to see what was happening.

One day, Li-Li came to see Mr Huang and asked for his help again. She said, ‘Dear Mr Huang, please help me to keep the poison from killing my mother-in-law! She’s changed into such a nice woman, and I love her like my own mother. I do not want her to die because of the poison I gave her’.

Mr Huang smiled and nodded his head. ‘Li-Li, there’s nothing to worry about. I never gave you any poison.
The herbs I gave you were vitamins to improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the love which you gave to her’.

THE MORAL OF THE STORY?
How you treat other people is exactly how they will treat you? There is a wise Chinese saying:
‘The person who loves others will also be loved in return. God might be trying to work in another person’s life through you.

Send this to your friends and spread the POWER OF LOVE. It may change their lives and their attitudes towards other people. You would be helping them understand that as a community we Christians should play the role of marriage counselor to any married couple in trouble and in need of marriage counseling. We should train ourselves to give marriage advise.

Got this in my mail recently. Not sure if this considered motivational humor or twisted humor. 

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
A. Ruthless.

Q. What do they call pastors in Germany ?
A. German Shepherds.

Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh’s daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David’s Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.

Q.. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.

Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden ?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan The banks were always overflowing.

Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.

Q. Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark ?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck. (Groan .)

PS. Did you know it’s a sin for a woman to make coffee?
Yup, it’s in the Bible. It says . “He-brews”

May god smile on you today and give you the grace to read some inspirational bible verses.

An inspirational christian story that shows the one role of the church in christian marriage counseling and maybe even definitely for christain dating! 

I received this in my email this morning and it claims to be a true story. Whether it is or not, it’s a very beautiful story about nothing being a coincidence in our lives.

The brand new pastor and his wife, newly assigned to their first ministry, to reopen a church in suburban Brooklyn , arrived in early October excited about their opportunities. When they saw their church, it was very run down and needed much work. They set a goal to have everything done in time to have their first service on Christmas Eve.

They worked hard, repairing pews, plastering walls, painting, etc, and on December 18 were ahead of schedule and just about finished.

On December 19 a terrible tempest - a driving rainstorm hit the area and lasted for two days.

On the 21st, the pastor went over to the church. His heart sank when he saw that the roof had leaked, causing a large area of plaster about 20 feet by 8 feet to fall off the front wall of the sanctuary just behind the pulpit, beginning about head high.

The pastor cleaned up the mess on the floor, and not knowing what else to do but postpone the Christmas Eve service, headed home.

On the way he noticed that a local business was having a flea market type sale for charity so he stopped in. One of the items was a beautiful, handmade, ivory colored, crocheted tablecloth with exquisite work, finecolors and a Cross embroidered right in the center. It was just the right size to cover up the hole in the front wall. He bought it and headed back to the church.

By this time it had started to snow. An older woman running from the opposite direction was trying to catch the bus.. She missed it. The pastor invited her to wait in the warm church for the next bus 45 minutes later.

She sat in a pew and paid no attention to the pastor while he got a ladder, hangers, etc., to put up the tablecloth as a wall tapestry. The pastor could hardly believe how beautiful it looked and it covered up the entire problem area.

Then he noticed the woman walking down the center aisle. Her face was like a sheet.. ‘Pastor,’ she asked, ‘where did you get that table cloth?’

The pastor explained. The woman asked him to check the lower right corner to see if the initials, EBG were crocheted into it there. They were.These were the initials of the woman, and she had made this table cloth 35 years before, in Austria.

The woman could hardly believe it as the pastor told how he had just gotten the table cloth. The woman explained that before the war she and her husband were well-to-do people in Austria .

When the Nazis came, she was forced to leave. Her husband was going to follow her the next week. He was captured, sent to prison and never saw her husband or her home again.

The pastor wanted to give her the tablecloth; but she made the pastor keep it for the church. The pastor insisted on driving her home, that was the least he could do. She lived on the other side of Staten Island and was only in Brooklyn for the day for a house cleaning job.

What a wonderful service they had on Christmas Eve. The church was almost full. The music and the spirit were great. At the end of the service, the pastor and his wife greeted everyone at the door and many said that they would return.

One older man, whom the pastor recognized from the neighborhood continued to sit in one of the pews and stare, and the pastor wondered why he wasn’t leaving.

The man asked him where he got the tablecloth on the front wall because it was identical to one that his wife had made years ago when they lived in Austria before the war and how could there be two tablecloths so muchalike.

He told the pastor how the Nazis came, how he forced his wife to flee for her safety and he was supposed to follow her, but he was arrested and put in a prison. He never saw his wife or his home again all the 35 years in between.

The pastor asked him if he would allow him to take him for a little ride.They drove to Staten Island and to the same house where the pastor had taken the woman three days earlier.

He helped the man climb the three flights of stairs to the woman’sapartment, knocked on the door and he saw the greatest Christmas reunion he could ever imagine.

True Story- submitted by Pastor Rob Reid

Who says God does not work in mysterious ways?

The pastor could be said to have played his role in christian marriage counseling effectively, by organizing a christian dating oppurtunity. Hope this was an inspirational christian story.

An article in the March 2008 edition of National Geographic indicates that tame, wild or endangered animals do think. For pet owners and most of us who have been associated with animals (vets or farmers), this should not be a revelation.

The experiments that Morell quote in her article were conducted among mammals (the usual suspects), birds and even fish and octopus. Most of us would never have expected that non-mammals have any sort of intelligence and this article dispels any such notion.

Morell states in her article, “….we should blush for ever having thought any animal a mere machine.” There are definitely many of among us who treat animals as any inanimate property to be exploited inhumanely.

In Genesis, God commanded us to have dominion over the Earth. The word “dominion” has been misinterpreted to mean “exploit mercilessly” by unscrupulous people. The true Christian understanding is that we are stewards of the the Earth, which actually belongs to God, not to us!
Stewards are responsible people, not sadistic fools.

The job of a steward is not just as watchman, but to nurture and develop what God has given us in a responsible way. This responsibility definitely does not include creating animal-human hybrid embryos as Britain has claimed to have achieved. These chimeras can considered as pet insurance against malfunction of human organs.

God made animals to serve humans as a pet or work animal or simply to be appreciated by watching and hearing them.

National Geographic’s March 2008 issue had the cover story on animals thinking abilities. Most of us would have wondered if our pets had thought processes or we may have suspected they do when sometimes they just stare at us. Virginia Morell has dispelled all notions about this by relating various experiments conducted in several species of mammals, birds and fish that indicate that animals do think!

Within the article there is a description about sheep attributes. They can recognize different faces (up to 50 other sheep and 10 human). They have good memory as they can remember these faces for up to 2 years. Furthermore they are calmed by familiar faces and differentiate between angry and happy faces - they prefer happy ones.

Reading this, made me recall a passage in the New Testament that Jesus said He is the Good Shepherd  and His sheep know him. Jesus is the kind (calm), happy person we read in the Bible. If we are His sheep, just like real sheep, we should be attracted to Him, because sheep gravitate towards a calm, happy disposition.

Moreover, like real sheep, we should have a good memory and not forget our Good Shepherd and recognize Him among and differentiate Him from the false prophets out there preaching angry messages.

Hence the sheep of the Good Shepherd keep His commandments. Never thought that being analogous to sheep would have been complimentary from Heaven’s viewpoint.

A drunk man who smelled like beer, sat down on a subway next to a priest.
The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat
pocket.

He opened his newspaper and began reading.
After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, “Say Father, what causes arthritis?”

The priest replies, “My Son, it’s caused by loose living, being with wicked women, too much alcohol,
contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.”

The drunk muttered in response, “Well, I’ll be damned,”. Then he returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized.
“I’m very sorry. I didn’t mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?”

The drunk answered, “I don’t have it, Father.  I was just reading here that the Pope does.”

One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver.

That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn’t mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: “He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver.” She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined.

The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, “How do you know when the silver is fully refined?”

He smiled at her and answered, “Oh, that’s easy — when I see my image in it”

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.